La Douleur Exquise

Returning to my “love-life novel” (see “The Love Game” and “Foolin’ Around – The Dating Game”), I continue where I left it – My Karma!

So, what is Karma???
In the dictionary says:

Karma:
1. Hinduism & Buddhism. The total effect of a person's actions and conduct during the successive phases of the person's existence, regarded as determining the person's destiny.
2. Fate; destiny.
3. Informal. A distinctive aura, atmosphere, or feeling: There's bad karma around the house today.

To me my karma was my very own “Mr. Big”…
He came into my life in a hot summer evening, back in 2003. He seduced my mind, my body and my soul. He was a shark that aimed for my heart and pierced it with it’s sharp teeth.
Everything was amazing about him. He was “good on paper”, had the looks and this incredible sensuality and appeal that left me off-guard from the very first look.
The “complicated” part was everything else about him… going through a divorce (with a 1 year old kid in the middle), having already a boyfriend in another country (…), being wealthy and young (35)… oh my God… What have I gotten into!

Fast-forward 3 months - The end… or was it?
I went through some tough moments after we ended. I guess I loved him more that I wanted to (unfortunately we don't choose those things!)

A couple of months later he came back into my life.
I asked him to decide between me and other things in his life. Guess what he chose?

Finally, after about a year after I met him, I was ready to move on… and then again was I? Am I?

Shit... Life’s a bitch!